It has been way to long, I know. the "new System" i was working on went belly up, along with my job and pretty much the life I was living lol.. not all bad not al good.  I've moved so far from who I am now that I just don't know any more. Almost all my dream have fallen short of success, doesn't stop me though.  still engaged, still 2 kids with Asd.


  I've lost my old blog and still am trying to retrieve it again. I hope to finish what I had started so long ago, if only for a printable archive. To be honest I don't even know why I came back here. I used to love to write, I used to have the creative energy of nuke. now though I'm just tired, as I've always been but now It's different. with my fatigue comes apathy and depression. My Thoughts no longer fill with rage and ambition, but darkened doubt and betrayal.